Movin' on up.

My hero

I have avoided writing about my brother for the pure fact that everytime I start to my eyes fill with tears and I cannot see the screen. Jason has been my hero for as long as I can remember. In the early years of my life I am sure that he was my hero because I can see the pictures that my family took of us and if a picture is really worth a thousand words than all the words expressed in those pictures were ones of admiration for my big brother. Now don't get me wrong there were years that I didn't understand my brother and years that we didn't get along all of the time but that was while he was in high school and I was in my annoying little sister phase.

After Jason moved to Lawrence he and I started to get closer, it is amazing what distance can do. I have stacks of letters that he wrote me while he was in college. It was when he moved to Kansas City that our relationship became unique. He would take jobs house sitting or pet sitting and I would come up and stay weekends with him. Everything about those weekends was perfect except for the drive home, which I tried to prolong as much as possible. We would play Scrabble and eat Indian food, go to the park and read, see interesting movies. I loved our weekends together. Those years in K.C. forged our relationship.

When my brother told me he was getting married I was not happy. I did not like Jaime and I did not want him to marry her. As I explained to Jaime in a recent conversation it was not so much her as the fact that she was taking my brother. It was not until this last year that I saw that Jaime liked having me around too. She is not a jealous person when it comes to Jason and has never seemed to mind sharing him with me. She also has given my family the greatest gift in the world, my nephew.

My brother once told me that he blames himself for the heartaches of my childhood. I have never quite known how to respond except to say, Jason, you are the reason that I survived. You have been my guardian, my window to a world outside of my own, my shoulder to whine on, my fierce protector, but most of all my friend. I am moving to Pennsylvania for you, so that I can have a life that makes you proud, so that I can have a life were you don't have to worry about me. Someday I will move back to Kansas and live two houses down from you and Jaime. You will never be able to fully understand the magnitude of my love or admiration for you. You are still my hero and you have definitely secured that title by getting to watch the Yankees play the Royals from the press box! Don't worry, in our lifetime together distance has only made our relationship stronger. I will be back soon and in the meantime I promise to make you proud of me. Je'taime!

posted by Unknown @ 3:10 PM