Movin' on up.

Deflated

Today was my second day at my new job. I was trained in the coffee bar by Krista, my 19 year old, engaged manager. Today was a deflating day.

I am 25 and starting a new job in a new city, new state, new life. I live with my aunt and uncle. I own one pair of work pants and next week I am on the schedule for 12 hours. I have to drive my cousins car to work or have someone drive me to work. I feel like I have moved progressively backwards over the last 7 years. 7 that is the number of years since I graduated high school.

My major excitement of the day was getting my package from my grandparents. The package contains my coats, pillows, and dictionary. The most exciting thing is the Down comforter that a co-worker gave me three years ago. I want to curl up in it right now and sleep in it until my life makes sense again. I don't want to do the work. I don't know if I can do the work. To top things off I am crabby now and my cat is trying to comfort me but I keep yelling at him. So I feel deflated and I am trying to make up with my cat.

I fear I will be the old lady that lives in someone else's house with all the cats.

I miss my nephew. I miss my brother. I miss my family and friends. I miss living a deflated life surrounded by familiarity.

Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow has to be better.

posted by Unknown @ 5:26 PM